The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that our website chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar